Original monologue for a boy age 8 to 12 years old

 

HISTORICAL PLAYS ARE BORING

This play would be so much better with ninjas. I tried to tell my teacher we needed to add some action to it. Like an evil alien army showing up to battle the pilgrims and Indians for control of earth at the big feast scene. But she wouldn’t go for it. She said it wasn’t historically accurate. Oh, and that the Thanksgiving feast being peaceful was the whole point of the play. A bunch of people in itchy clothes stuffing their faces is the whole point of the show? Seriously? She has no idea what entertainment looks like. Not surprising since she’s older than my grandma, but come on. We gotta keep the audience awake, and her show is duller than my sister’s ballet recitals.

So I talked to the guys. And it turns out, they’d been thinking the same thing. That’s why we’re all wearing swords under our costumes tonight. When I give the signal, all the boys from room nine are going to erupt in the most wicked battle to the death ever. Garrett and Ethan even taped sandwich bags full of ketchup to their stomachs, so it’ll look like real blood when they get stabbed. This is going down as the best Thanksgiving play in school history. Just wait.